First, though, I'd like to confirm that no, I've not been updating as regularly as is specified by contract. I've got to apologize for that, because I know you've all een in agony while day after day passes without an update. I can offer no excuse other than that I haven't really felt all that much like updating this recently. Last few days have been turbulent (including completely changing my sleep schedule around this Sunday), so...whatever. I return.
In Ryan News
I acted as a pallbearer the second time in my life yesterday, which put an end to the last few days' grieving. I've always had some kind of odd respect for the position of pallbearer, so I was honored to act as such for my grandmother. Lessons learned? The term "pallbearer" refers to the heavy cloth which covers the casket during funeral services, called the "pall", which is also a Y heraldic symbol which is often associated with the clergy. I didn't know that. Now I do. And so do you. And knowing is half the battle.
If you're too young to get that reference, you're being fined $15.
Yesterday also signified my return to my summer job, which means I'll have to make a list. Because there are three separate things that I'll have to comment on, and I enjoy lists, as I'm sure you've noticed if you've read the blog at all.
- One of the most important skills in working such a thoroughly un-earthshakingly
important job as one in fast food is how to waste time without really looking like you're doing it. Yesterday presented an opportunity as my 3-8pm shift became a 3-11pm shift after someone called off. It's really amazing how much time one can do nothing without anyone really noticing, including filling up a rubber glove ...for a half hour and playing with suds. I defend my actions by saying that I actually had completed everything I needed to do by about 7pm and as we had 20 people in grill...feh.
- It's hard to get mad about someone giving you a few seconds of something to do in
between being remarkably bored. That said, the rage experienced when someone takes a turner (See? I can use correct terminology too.) that I cleaned four hours ago and renders it absolutely filthy through use during a birthday party no one had any idea about and which took away the opportunity of said person to have a break. I had to take five seconds to clean that. Which is unacceptible. :D
- Evidently they caught Mike, which means nothing to anyone reading this, but which I'll summarize here. Mike gets hired-->Mike somehow makes everyone that works at McDonalds dislike him-->Mike sucks at making burritos (as do I, but that's not the problem here)-->Mike flips out about someone suggesting that he's not able to make burritos and should go home if he can't learn to do it right-->Mike backhands female management-->Grill Employee investigates-->Mike punches GE, knocking her down-->GE becomes T-1000 and gets up-->Mike runs away-->Mike gets arrested a few days later on assault charges-->Angela (GE) earns title "Tyson", despite not getting a punch in.
But enough. On to current events.
Jason Bay got blanked on the HR Derby (following Bobby Abreu going insane) and then didn't play in the All-Star game, and I continue not to care. Whatever. It just caused ESPN to proclaim "Tejada they come, Tejada they fall". Which is dumb. Pat of WHYGAVS has much more on the subject, but right now I can't be bothered.
What I've been wanting to post about but, as I've said before, haven't felt up to, involves Saturday's game (Pit 11, NYM 4). Ignoring the J. Wilson Grand Slam and Dave Williams' remarkably effective start, I'd like to focus on one of the most superficial parts of the game, but which was actually relevant Saturday. The uniforms. They were honoring the teams of the Negro League with Pittsburgh dressing as the Pittsburgh Crawfords and the Mets as the New York Cubans (who were bested by the Crawfords in the 1935 Negro League National Championship). Pittsburgh did a remarkable job, wearing uniforms which compare to those of the Crawfords, even down to the baggier cut. The Mets, however, wore New York Mets uniforms with a single sad "CUBANS" on the sleeve, rather than the actual Cubans uniforms.
The American Family Association is boycotting Nike on the grounds that their policy of openly supporting homosexual civil unions is a "back door move to legalize homosexual marriage", which appears to be a desperate attempt to use the phrase "back door", as it's rather upfront about the contention that, like most gay marriage proponents, while no church should be forced to recognize marriages which conflict with their own belief systems, legal rights such as power-of-attorney and visitation rights awarded to heterosexual couples upon them deciding they want them should be extended to homosexual couples. You know. In agreement with the concept that in the absence of a theocracy, specific religious ideologies should not control the formation of secular laws. Whatever. I get the feeling Nike doesn't care.
Also, they're launching Discovery today after 2 1/2 years of reworking the shuttle in the wake of the Columbia disaster. They're launching at 3:51pm, which makes me envious of the concept that something can be planned to happen at 3:51pm. I'm lucky if I can narrow things down to the correct hour.
They're putting Jack
Nicklaus on a Scottish Banknote, making him the third living person (the others being the Queen and Queen Mother) to be so honored. They're making 2 million such notes. I have not the words for something as remarkably insane as putting a golfer on money.
I'm going to go now. Expect an update sooner than the last update. So...within a few days.