Wednesday, July 13, 2005

12 Big Macs?

Oh dear. Rory has started dreaming about the Pittsburgh Pirates, specifically about Ryan Doumit vs. Humberto Cota, which he then expands into an analysis of their performances and a disagreement with Stats Geek, but I see that this can only lead to some kind of strange Freddy Sanchez/Kreuger vs. Jason Bay/Voorhees post following a similar dream sometime in the near future. Not over a position dispute, but rather a dispute over who has the right to snare more souls. As a member of the blog-reading public, I can only wait patiently. And hope. That Rory loses his mind.

Additionally (and I realize I am not a baseball blog, so will allow those that are to be the ones with the real commentary,) WHYGAVS points out what Dave Littlefield needs to do if the Pirates are going to not have 14 straight losing seasons (presuming this season ends the way we sit at the All-Star Break).

Ok. Now, to other things.

Dispute at work today about two things. Whether Toby Keith is fat and whether or not it is possible to listen to his music without bursting into flame. This dispute occurred between two people that weren’t me, thankfully, and ended without resolution. Not being able to pick Toby Keith out of a lineup with a high belt-buckle width:actual belt width ratio, I can’t comment on the first part. The answer to the second is clearly no.

Moreover, I discovered something I was heretofore unaware of. Those garbage cans outside of fastfood restaurants? They’re concrete. Entirely, except for the lid and bag, and about 1 ½ inches thick throughout. More importantly, if one is so inclined, they can be knocked onto the road, though they are bolted in place. The result is a shattered concrete box sitting on top of a garbage bag in the middle of the street, followed by an awkward attempt to get said garbage can into the dumpster piecewise, followed by a bleeding Amber. Followed by more gauze than would be necessary following open heart surgery.

(Jump to another topic!)

Remember how earlier today I was marveling at the ability of NASA to schedule a 3:51pm event? That didn’t happen, because something went wrong with a fuel gauge (of which there were four, with one malfunctioning). So I take that back. I may only be able to plan things to the appropriate hour, but they’re rarely suddenly shifted to a completely separate day.

Wacky environmentalists are protesting Exxon in an attempt to challenge the company’s criticism of Global Warming theories and drilling in ANWR. The main effect of this seems to be about the same as that of the AFA boycott I posted about earlier, in that it is now in a blog. This one, however, has commentary by conservative talk show hosts in Pittsburgh who pledge to buy more Exxon products out of spite for environmentalists. Again, whatever.

Sarah Vowell writes an Op-Ed in Maureen Dowd’s place that addresses the issue of treating problems as problems and not as nothing with a sort of whimsy that actually says something good about President Jimmy Carter. I bring this up because I believe that a constant hammering of a sunny outlook on the problems facing the world isn’t always the best policy, and because she wrote Assassination Vacation (which certain Jennas have just finished), a commentator on NPR and was the voice of Violet in the Incredibles, which is most likely still playing on the television at the Delt House at Allegheny, and will until the end of time.

Once again, I’m going to go, though I’m off now to try to completely change my sleep pattern in one night, because I work overnight tomorrow, after which I need to drive to Maryland. Rarg.

And as for the title...the Big Mac marketing campaign (which doesn't include a sale, but rather is simply "Hey, remember these?") is the most successful piece of advertising ever to happen to anything.

3 comments:

Amber said...

Well, I am glad to enlighten you that the gauze has now downgraded to a simple bandaid.

Missing a bit of skin, and still bleeding off and on. Damn.

Steve said...

I like the incredibles. Mrs. Incredible was hot.

AMAZING RYAN P said...

MURPHY!!! WHOA DUDE! Come visit us at 607 Highland Ave. Meadville, PA. 16335. Thank you for your time. MURPHY!!! dude i think adam stole your room. RETURN TO RECLAIM YOUR TERRITORY!

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