Thursday, August 25, 2005

Burn On, Big River

YES, this is another post. To give you an idea of what’s going on, it’s about half an hour since I wrote the last post, but I thought I’d give this another go because I’ve got not much to do in this car AND I decided to turn this thing on because my radio’s been broken since I got back from my Chicago trip in March. So I can listen to what most of my friends would call “the Theme from Major League”, rather than its actual title (keep tuned to this blog post for the title, which I’m saving for the end.) EDIT: I should point out that Jenna was driving. So that I don't get charged with things.

Pat Robertson’s crazy, isn’t he? I bring this up for one reason, and that’s because it caused Lou Dobbs to try his crack at being Jon Stewart yesterday. He did the exact same bit that Stewart did later on during his time on CNN. Which is really strange. To summarize, Pat Robertson suggested that we go ahead and assassinate the Venezuelan President because “Well, he thinks we will anyway and he’s going to spread Communism and an extremist version of Islam, so we should get on that because I’ve run out of nachos and need something to entertain me.” Which isn’t good. Simply because responsible broadcasters shouldn’t go around calling for the assassination of the leaders of nations when doing so might start an international incident and will, more probably than not, just give the leader in question the ability to rally people around him by use of the victim card. Pat-dawg at first just maintained he was the victim of being misunderstood, which of course, he wasn’t, a point both Dobbs and Stewart emphasized by playing the clip of him calling for assassination immediately after the clip of him claiming he just said “take him out”, which Robertson-money maintains could “mean to kidnap.”

Ending: Pat-o has apologized for trying to suggest foreign policies that include assassinating people. In the words of my generation: Oh. Whatever.

Jenna’s singing Dirty Old Town at me. Clearly, if she’d just ignore hygiene and pick up some drug habits (well, more) she could be the perfect replacement of Shane MacGowan.

Oh. That song before? That’s “Burn On” by Randy Newman. Subject? The Cuyahoga River catching on fire like six times. I have no personal problem with Cleveland, even being from Pittsburgh and being taught in my current events classes to hate everything that comes from the Ohio Metropolis. Hell, I even like some things about Ohio. But good lord guys. The Allegheny, Monongahela and Ohio Rivers aren’t the cleanest in the world (or “enough to be submerged in without disease”), but at LEAST they’re not on fire. At least not recently.


Steve said...

As host of the 700 club, I serious doubt you can consider Pat Robertson a responsible broadcaster.

-Murphy said...

Replace "responsible broadcaster" with "guy" then.

Steve said...

thaaaaat's better