Thursday, March 20, 2008

Mascot Bracket, Final Four and Championship

South Alabama Jaguars vs. Cal State Fullerton Titans

This isn't even fair. I suppose my problem of having too many big cats has been minimized, and it seems anticlimactic that the final cat should be destroyed by a mythological creature. There isn't any way around it though. Titans would beat jaguars in a fight to the death. Can Titans die? We'll have to find out in the Championship Game.

Cal State Fullerton wins it.

Michigan State Spartans vs. Xavier Musketeers

While Spartans no doubt had phenominal abdominal muscles and some guy who walked around with one eye narrating things in an awesome voice, as well as mighty squarish beards, they'd be no match for someone trained in the modern(ish) art of fighting. Or someone who could injure them from twenty yards away.

Xavier moves on to the final game.

Championship Game
Cal State Fullerton Titans vs. Xavier Musketeers

A lot of thought had to go into this final matchup. After all, both of these teams had to battle through long series of increasingly difficult opposition, facing all sorts of eagles and bulldogs and cats and whatnot just to get a crack at each other, at long last. Both teams surely have great mascots which have proved themselves throughout this nonsense. Both schools should be proud that they either have a human mascot with weapons or a giant precursor to the Olympian gods. Surely, any match to the death between the two would be devastating, and a great deal of analysis must be put toward attempting to comprehend the situation and assess who stands the greater chance of emerging as the victor. Only one may be left standing. And so it is only after much deliberation that I must announce that the winner of this year's Murphspot Mascot Nonsense Bracket is

Xavier Musketeers

Musketeers, you see, actually existed.

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