Wednesday, December 21, 2005


Twice now, in the span of about 12 hours, I've learned two lessons.

1: Always Read The Instructions-

Having finished my Christmas shopping for the year, I decided to spend around $4 on a CD that I'd once owned, but that I'd lost years ago and have wanted to get back since. The CD?

The Toasters' 1996 effort Hard Band For Dead. Those of us that were youngish in the mid-to-late nineties will recognize tracks 1 and 13 (Two Tone Army and Skaternity) as the opening and closing themes of 'Kablam!', a strange little cartoon/anthology series on Nickelodeon, though they were credited as the Moon Ska Allstars. Additionally, the album marks the last, that I'm aware of, appearance of Coolie Ranx (later of the Pilfers, then a solo artist) as a vocalist, adding to track 3 ("Friends") and 8 ("Don't Come Running").

But enough plugging the album. I get back to the apartment yesterday and the mail has actually been delivered. I presume it's the CD I've ordered, but note that it's mostly styrofoam. That's when I read the note that's taped to the back. In a move that parallels every chemistry test I've ever taken that has needlessly complex instructions that are designed not so much for the purpose of testing whether students can provide the information but whether or not they didn't gloss over the negation thrown into the instruction, I see the phrase "As listed on Amazon, case not included. Liner Notes and CD included."

I'm not going to ask what on earth the purpose of that is, but it culminated in lesson 1. Read the "comments" section of anything you buy from Amazon. It's not a huge deal; I used another case that was sitting around. But it's kind of like buying a blender, only to realize upon its delivery that the power switch wasn't included.

Lesson 2: If you come in early to the lab to get some reading done, don't leave the lab without your keys. Being locked out isn't productive.

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