Monday, April 04, 2011

4th Annual Murphspot Mascot Bracket - Final Four and Championship

#11 UAB Blazers vs. #2 San Diego State Aztecs

Were dragons present in Aztec mythology? Wikipedia mentions dragons in European mythology, Chinese mythology and the Book of Job, but nothing specific about Aztec dragons. It does talk about Creationist claims that dragon myths arose because people lived at the same time as dinosaurs, ignoring all evidence to the contrary. So there's that. There are uncertainties about how an Aztec Eagle Warrior would do fighting a dragon. The only thing I can say for sure is that if I ever get around to having an anthemic metal band, I want this matchup as my album cover. Blaze, the UAB dragon, has wings. Are those functional, or vestigal? Because if Blaze can fly, the Aztec warrior is pretty much screwed. Spears don't tend to do well against flying, fire-breathing monster lizards. Yeah, I was trying to come up with a way for an upset here, but I just don't see it happening. UAB advances.

#10 Florida State Seminoles vs. #13 Belmont Bruins

Given that I just made an argument for why bears aren't going to win against an indigenous population with weapons, I feel like this is a bit perfunctory. The bruin had a good run, and no one can take that away from him. Or her. I'm not sure if "Bruin" is gender neutral. Still, while it's been able to coast on things like "being 900 pounds" and "having scary claws" and "ripping throats out of things with throats", the Seminoles have a guy with a spear and a horse. They've got maneuverability, they've got hunting experience and they've managed to live in a place that has bears without being eaten by bears. The Seminoles have it. Florida State advances.


#11 UAB Blazers vs. #10 Florida State Seminoles

And it all comes down to this. Do we go with real people over mythical beings? Do we go with enormous reptilian monsters over pretty much everything else? I could try to figure out what kind of dragon we're talking about here, which led to me discovering that Wikipedia lumps comics and puppetry together when talking about dragons, which is pretty fantastic. I attempted to establish a link between the Seminole tribe and dragons, but all that led me to was a student group at FSU that plays Dungeons & Dragons. Actually, that probably helps the Seminoles, as they could probably advise Chief Osceola on tactics. On the other hand, here's a picture of a statue of Blaze at night outside the Bartow Arena at UAB.

I would never walk by this. Especially after having seen Blink. Weeping Angel Dragons? Everything would be over.

You can't fight with that. That's badass. So there we have it.

2011 Murphspot Mascot Bracket Champions - University of Alabama at Birmingham Blazers

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