I think it's probably a good thing for my social life that I don't know the intricacies of the strengths and weaknesses of dragons in general. As it stands, I'm not sure if projectile weapons are going to be very effective against dragon skin. Yeah, an archer took down Smaug, but only because Bilbo figured out where a weakness was (which I presume was a thermal exhaust port) and it eventually got relayed to someone who could do something about it (presumably by Bothan spies, just to completely confuse nerd institutions). Which works if you know what you're shooting for and are capable of making the shot. Muskets didn't have rifling, which would mean that if Blaze has a weakness, the Xavier Musketeer is going to have to get pretty close to be able to pull the shot off. I don't know the effective attack range of a dragon, but let's say it's greater than that because this entry has gone on long enough. UAB advances to the Final Four.
#13 Oakland Golden Grizzlies vs. #2 San Diego State Aztecs
Well, I had the Aztecs take out the Northern Colorado Generic Turntablist Bears back in round one, so it'd be a little inconsistent of me to allow the bears to win this time. And somehow, given that Oakland's involved, I can't avoid thinking that Al Davis is going to come in and crazy the whole thing up, then attempt to move both schools around California because why not? San Diego, conversely, has Comic-Con? I guess? I certainly wouldn't want to go up against the crowd there. Plus, there's a chance that Nathan Fillion's involved, which means this is over.
Above: The Golden Grizzly's most deadly enemy.
San Diego State advances to the Final Four.
#5 Vanderbilt Commodores vs. #10 Florida State Seminoles
There are a few ways you could go with this matchup. If we're just looking at the mascots as presented the Commodores would seem to have an edge. The FSU Seminoles mascot has got a spear, while the Commodore has a saber (and presumably, a sidearm). Of course, Commodore no longer exists as a rank in the U.S. Navy (though it's still a title), while the Seminole Tribes of Florida and Oklahoma are definitely still around (and both endores the use of the Seminole name and images as Florida State's mascot), which suggests the Seminoles are comparably armed. I'm unable to determine whether any navy in which Commodore is a rank endorses Vanderbilt's use of the term. Either way, it seems like the Seminoles would have the edge on ranged fighting, and the Vanderbilt mascot is made of foam rubber, limiting his effectiveness, so we'll go with Florida State advancing to the Final Four
#13 Belmont Bruins vs. #3 BYU Cougars
So far, the Cougar has had to go through a Boston Terrier, a Thunderbird (or a Storm, or a guy drinking Thunderbird during a storm, or something) and a Spartan, the last of which was its only real challenge. I should also take a moment to point out that Thunderbird, the fortified wine, was apparently marketed as "The California Aperitif" outside the US, which just seems like a slam on California for no reason.
Pictured: Sorrow.
The Bruin has had to go through some Aggies, some Badgers and a Monarch, so he's not had a terribly tough road either, but in the epic matchup of Caniform vs. Felid, I just don't see the Cougar coming out victorious. It's close, but Belmont advances to the Final Four.
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